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Jana Wendt went to America to interview the American Indians (Indigenous Americans).

 Through her interviewing she asked "What do the feathers mean".

 One Indian explained to her that one feather meant "1" wife, "Once" a night, two feathers meant "2" wives, "twice" a night, three feathers, "3" wives "Three-times" a night, and so on and so on. 

Later that day Jana was interviewing the Chief of the Indian tribe and she said "But you have hundreds of feathers" and he said "Yes, and I have hundreds of wives and I do it hundreds of times a night." Jana was exasperated and replied "Oh Dear!" to which the Chief quickly replied "Oh no, me no Fuck dear, it run too fast."

Another One of my Jokes.

One day Mrs. Smith asked members of her third grade class what they had for breakfast, and to spell it.

Mrs. Smith said "Now little Johnny, what did you have for breakfast?"

Little Johnny promptly replied "I had eggs miss, e-g-g-s, eggs."

Mrs. Smith said "That's very good little Johnny, you can go and sit down and don't have to answer any more questions." She then proceeded to ask Jason what he had for breakfast.

Jason said "I had toast, t-o-a-s-t, toast for breakfast Miss."

Mrs. Smith was very impressed and sent Jason to sit down as well. She then came to Billy and said "Now Billy, what did you have for breakfast this morning?"

Billy said "I had shit all, s-h-i-t-a-l-l, shit all miss."

Mrs. Smith was horrified and said "Now Billy you should have your mouth washed out with soap for that response, but instead I'll ask you a very difficult geography question. Where abouts is the South Australian border?"

Billy quickly said "That's easy Miss, he's at home fucking mum, that's why I had shit all for breakfast."

Decorating Nuns

Now who hasn't heard a derivative of this one?

Two nuns were painting a room on the fifth floor on a convent. There was no air conditioning and they could not open the windows. One nun said to the other "Hey, why don't we take off our clothes and paint in the nude, no one will know." The other nun hesistantly said okay. So they stripped down and begun once again painting when they heard a knock at the door. Both scared to death said "Who is it?" The response was a blind man. They both looked at one another and thought what the heck? They opened the door, the man walked in and said "Nice tits, where do you want these blinds hung?"

Green Acres is the Place to be...

Sam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Vermont as far from humanity as possible. Sam sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, he's finishing dinner when someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is a big, bearded Vermonter standing there. "Name's Enoch... Your neighbor from four miles over the ridge... Having a party Saturday... Thought you'd like to come." "Great," says Sam, "after six months of this I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you." As Enoch is leaving he stops, "Gotta warn you there's gonna be some drinkin'." "Not a problem... After 25 years in the computer business, I can drink with the best of 'em." Again, as he starts to leave Enoch stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too." "Damn", Sam thinks... "Tough crowd." "Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again." Once again Enoch turns from the door. "I've seen some wild sex at these parties, too." "Now that's not a problem" says Sam, "Remember I've been alone for six months! I'll definitely be there... By the way, what should I wear?" Enoch stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want, just gonna be the two of us."

Popeye
What part of Popeye does not rust? The part he puts in olive oil.

Check out all the Spinach power that Popeye gets. (thanks to Georgie for this one)

Blonde Jokes

Q: What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?                            A: When you slap a mosquito, it will stop sucking.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Atlantic Coast?                 A: The Atlantic Coast would never have that many crabs.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a taxi cab?                            A: You have to pay to ride in a taxi cab.

Q: How do you give a blonde more headroom?                                            A: Adjust the steering wheel.

Q: Why did the blonde have lip stick on her steering wheel?                                A: She was trying to blow the horn.

Q: Why does a blonde wear panties?           A: To keep her ankles warm.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the local football team?            A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.

Q: How does a blonde turn on the lights after having sex?                                       A: Opens the car door.

Q: What do blondes and cow pies have in common?                                                    A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders? A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!

Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?                                           A: Nothing. They've never met.

Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?              A: They are both fucked when they're on their back.

Q: What did the blonde's mom say to her before she went out?                             A: If you're not in bed by midnight, come home.

Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?                                                       A: Humpme Dumpme.

Q: What is the difference between a circus and a group of blondes?                 A: At the circus you'll find a cunning array of stunts.

Q: What did the blonde do when her doctor told her she had sugar in her urine? A: She peed on her corn flakes.

Q: What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency?                A: She turned it over and used the other side.

Q: What did the really dumb blond say when someone blew in her bra?               A: Thanks for the refill.

Q: What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase?     A: "It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt."

Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?    A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.

Q: How do you plant dope?                     A: Bury a blonde.

Q: Why did God give blondes 2% more brains than horses?                                 A: Because he didn't want them shitting in the streets during parades.

Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?                                              A: Wave to her.

Q: How does a blonde measure his/her IQ? A: With a tire gauge! (da da dum)

Q: How does a blonde part their hair?       A1: (Action of scissoring legs apart)         A2: By doing the splits.

Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?                                                  A1: She drops her nail-file!                    A2: Who cares?                                        A3: She says, "Next".                                 A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.                                       A5: He's had his clothes on for about 2 minutes.                                                    A6: I mean, who really cares?                 A7: The batteries have run out.

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?                                                           A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?   A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!

Q: How do you kill a blonde?                     A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads. 

Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?       A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.

Q: How does a blonde like her eggs?           A: Unfertilized.

Q: How do you drown a blond?                 A1: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool. A2: Don't tell her to swallow.                     A3: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?                                            A: The roots are all black.